Sugar is Life

Having concern over my cafe bill, my dairy express bill, and my health, I decided at the beginning of the week that I would not purchase any sweets.

It had been getting pretty bad the week before, as I had gone to the DX at least three times for candy, not to mention the snack machines; and I had been purchasing the cafe dessert daily, if not multiple times per day. All of which resulted in me being over the cafe minimum pace, something I viewed as a serious problem.

So I made a commitment to not purchase any sweets for all of the next week.

It began simple enough. I caught myself purchasing a sheet cake at the cafe Monday morning, before I realized--as counter-intuitive as it may seem--that a cafeteria cake probably counted as a sweet: and thus, I promised not to purchase any more cafeteria sweets for the rest of the week.

I stayed up until 1am that night, due to a combination of practicing and homework. The next day, I had classes and work from 8am to 6:15pm, without break. It wore on me considerably, especially as I had to be late to two classes: once, so that I could get food; second, so that I could walk to Kretschmar and turn in my Calculus assignment an hour before it was due.

I then went to the Symphony to enjoy a concert, which took me to 10pm, at the conclusion of which I was considerably hungry. By that point the SAC was closed, as was the DX grill, leaving me with the options of whatever junk food I could rummage at the gas station. Chips were out of the question, because I had an oboe lesson the next day (and high-salt foods absolutely kill an oboist's endurance). Sweets were out of the question, because of my commitment. And that left...

"Well, you went all-out, didn't you?" my roommate remarked as I brought back a can of Pringles, a bag of popcorn (which is even worse than chips), and a chocolate bar, which I then proceeded to consume. After all, I had a test to study for. I eventually turned in a little past 1, after passing the point of diminished returns.

The next day, it's four o'clock, and I'm staring at my Calculus assignment which is due in an hour, and promptly decide "I'm not doing it." So I didn't. After the deadline had passed with me having spent the hour reading web columns and playing online poker, I came to the following conclusion: Sugar is an important part of my diet. What cure do I have for motivational distress syndrome without it?

Thus, in the interests of my mental and educational health, I have since proceeded to purchase a pint of Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey ice cream, and consume it plus a dinner of a serving of pasta, a serving of corn, and a slice of pizza in one sitting. I'd never had Chunky Monkey before. It was... interesting. They could have done without the walnuts. Definitely no walnuts.


"Sugar is LIFE!!!" (Mr. Bayer, my high school biology/chemistry teacher)