The War of 1812:
Ancestors of the Republicans: [declares war]
New England: This war is stupid. We're losing tons of money because of it. If you don't stop, we'll declare independence.
Ancestors of the Republicans: Sure you will. Do whatever you want. We are fighting a war.
New England: Fine, we'll stay. But we still hate your guts.
The American Civil War:
New England (and the rest of the north): You need to give up your property for the benefit of mankind.
The South: You even try to do that and we'll declare independence.
New England: Sure you will.
The South: [declares independence]
New England: In the name of all that is just, good, and holy, we must fight.
[Millions of people die.]
The South: Fine, we'll give up our property. But we hate your guts.
The Second Iraq War:
Republicans: [declares war]
New England (and the rest of democratic America): This war is stupid. We're losing tons of money. If you don't stop, we're moving to Canada.
Republicans: Sure you will. Do whatever you want. We are fighting a war. Besides, you aren't going to Canada--it's too cold.
Democrats: I hate you.
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