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Adam was pruning a vine in the Garden of Eden one day when Eve ran up to him with an armful of apples.
"Look at this wonderful new fruit I've found! It's so delicious!"
"But Eve..." Adam replied hesitantly. "Don't you know what fruit that is?"
"Of course not. You're the one who named them all. What is this?"
Adam looked conflicted as a battle raged in his mind. Finally, he reached out and grabbed an apple, and just as he was about to take a bite, Eve interjected:
"Just kidding! April Fools!"
Adam dropped the apple in pure astonishment.
Eve didn't know how to respond to the silence, so she rambled on. "Of course I know which tree is the tree of good and evil. I'm not that stupid."
"Eve..." Adam groaned. "I think we need to have a talk."
"Whatever for? Is it your heart again?"
"I've told you so many times Eve, I don't like to be scared like that. You keep giving me heart attacks."
"So? You don't like it when your heart stops beating? It's not like it can kill you or anything."
"But that's not the point. It's something that I despise. And you... you... just live to watch me squirm."
"Oh, my poor Adam."
"No! I wouldn't need to be pitied if you weren't around!"
Eve gasped.
"That's right. I just don't think you're the woman for me. I want a divorce."
Adam stormed off, and Eve collapsed in a flurry of sobs.
"Oh, what have I done? My love is lost to me... forever! What is there left to me... but..." Eve picked up an apple, and ate it. "May this prove me to be your faithful lover for all eternity." Then she died.
Meanwhile, Adam regretted having exploded at Eve earlier, and returned to apologize... only to find a dead wife and an apple core. "Oh, Eve!" Stricken with the conflicting emotions of guilt, love, and desperation, Adam picked up one of the apples, and ate it... and so collapsed with grief over her body. As he breathed his last, he went to sleep with pleasant thoughts of Eve.
"Excessive pain, like excessive joy, is a violent thing which is of short duration." (Victor Hugo)
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