A Ransom for Lord Stanley?

In the news this morning was a story that the Stanley Cup was visiting Afghanistan to cheer up the morale of the Canadian troops. Now, really, a fine idea and all, doing a service to those who are doing a service for us (are they really?), but didn't the thought occur to anyone that this visit would put the troops at risk?

After all, what better target could there be for a terrorist attack than Lord Stanley's Cup?

Just think of it now. How much would the NHL pay as ransom to the Taliban to get back the silver mug? The Canadian government? Better yet, how much could they get on the black market for that thing? Surely, some Russian billionaire would purchase it just to be able to etch his name onto it. Perhaps he'd sell rights to disgruntled hockey players unwilling to go through 2 months of body-bruising to be able to hoist the trophy?

On the flip side, imagine if the Stanley Cup was held hostage--and then decapitated because Harper "doesn't negotiate with terrorists?" Al Qaeda could make a video and send it to Al Jazeera of the Stanley Cup, wearing an explosives vest, and then getting blown to dust. That would do two things, anyways.

You would have one million Canadians instantly sign up for the military to volunteer in Afghanistan. Osama would be found within months, if not weeks. Never tick off a Canadian. Wilhelm and Adolph know what I'm talking about.

Then, Afghanistan would be financially set for life, by operating the ground of Stanley's death as a tourist attraction. Minor league hockey players could pay to fly over and lick the dust, out of hopes of ingesting one grain of silver as a good luck charm for their future career. Perhaps they could bottle the sand and sell it to the 30,000,000 or some odd Canadians that might fall for something like that. They could even ground up some extra silver, but the sparkle in the sand won't likely be necessary--it's the ground where the Cup died, surely that in itself makes it sacred, right?

Ah... hockey. Where would the world be without you?


"Sir, three years ago before I joined the army, I never thought I'd say 'That damn marijuana.'" (Canadian Soldier in Afghanistan, upon encountering a 10-foot tall Marijuana forest filled with insurgents. They tried burning it down, but all the soldiers kept getting high.)