"Aflockalypse"

The recent animal death stories have turned many minds to God. As one commenter put it, "I can't help but think about the 0.0001% chance that maybe the Christians are right." Is this the end?

The google maps listing of all the animal death stories from the last month is certainly impressive, but a little deceptive. Looking a little deeper into the story of all the crab deaths in England you find a local saying that similar crab deaths happened two and five years ago.

And so the panic is off. It's all natural. Jesus isn't coming yet. You can relax now.

The cycle continues.

It happened at 9/11. It happened at Katrina. Natural or unnatural catastrophies bring people back to church. After a few days for some, a few months for others, the panic subsides as they realize that Jesus' coming is not imminent, and they return to their old ways.

But the real question for me is, why was my initial reaction to the thought Jesus was returning fear?

I'm not ready yet. I'm selfish. I don't know how to teach others about God. I haven't fallen in love yet. I can't even begin to do any of this right now because I need a job and some money. I need more time, God!

I used to dream of myself as an academy teacher, in my forties, as the time of trouble began. I tried to help them get over the fact Jesus was coming, and how so many of them would never experience having their driver's license, getting married, having sex, raising children. I told them none of those things was really amazing, that a relationship with God was the best of all, and that it wasn't necessary to experience any of that before going to heaven.

Yet when the tables turn and I'm staring at that possibility myself I don't buy a single argument. What if that sermon is for me? What if I am that generation?

Of course at the age of 26 there's nothing stopping me from doing all of that tomorrow, except for my failure of a love life, so I'm clearly not that generation. But what a hypocrite I would be for preaching that sermon someday 20 years from now. How is that generation going to give it all up for God?

How do you bring a person to God? How do I bring me to God? How do I snap out of my general malaise?

I don't want to fear anymore. I want to love people. I want to show people God through love. I want to redefine missions as loving people and showing people that by loving other people they can be free. And yet, despite everything, I can't let go.

Maybe the next few months will be an education is how to teach people to let go and give it all to God, by learning it for myself. Or maybe it's already too late.

Maybe there is nothing to learn at all. Maybe it's a divine mystery.