Conversations with Children

Today, I was observing a special ed classroom for one of my college classes. This one student in particular attracted my interest.

Upon arriving he said, in a fairly loud, partly monotone voice “I said the A word.” He repeated this sentence several times while he was there. His teachers would then remind him that that was the reason he was in trouble. At the end of class, he stayed behind because a teacher was filling out a report of sorts for him to take home to his parents. As he was just standing there, he noticed me and said “hi.” (It might be more appropriate if every time I quoted him I used all-caps.) This was notable because I think he was the first student to notice me while I was there.

I replied “hi.” He then said “do you have a pet?” I said, “no.” He asked “why?” I said “because pets take time and love and I don’t have any time leftover to give a pet the love it needs right now.” He said “you should get a parakeet.” After a moment’s pause, he continued: “I had a dog once. But then it got a rare disease and died.” At this point whoever was with him has been getting more and more horrified as this conversation progressed and got his attention to end the conversation.

Well, it turns out said teacher still had stuff to do, so the student walked over to me to continue. He said, “nice hair.” I said “thanks.” Then he asked “do you have a wife?” I replied “no.” This student then said “you should wait until you find the perfect woman.” (Just wanted to remind you that everything he’s said so far has been half-yelled.) I replied “the problem with that idea is that there are as many perfect women out there as there are perfect men.” The student then nodded in understanding, saying “it’s okay, there are actually women out there who are into that beard and moustache thing.”

Thanks, kid. I appreciate it.