Excerpts from Traffic Accident Reports

Consider this a bonus for those people who actually read this blog. (Is there anyone at all who does? Anyone?)

As usual, all spelling mistakes are preserved from the original reports.

+ [How to start off on the right foot--a malapropism in the first sentence]
"When I acrossed the intersection of W_____ & K_____ ..."

+ "We stopped on the side of the road and he stopped too and got off the car screaming and shouting at us calling us "terrorists" and shouting that this was our fault. We felt quite shocked by this acquisation and called 911 immediately at around 5:08..." [You'd think this kind of stuff wouldn't happen in Canada. Btw, I never figured out why it got the name 9/11 instead of 911. I would have thought 911 would have been so much more appropriate.]

+ [complete report]
[you know how sometimes you can tell how old the driver is by their language?]
"Was driving and saw break lights so I breaked
realized I had to break way faster
braked hard and slid into other vehicle"

+[two stories]
-"Both vehicles making right hand turn at L____ & H_____. Car in front starts to turn with no traffic coming then I look to make my turn and proceed, he steps on his brakes for no reason & I hit his bumper. I get out of my car and call him an idiot and he starts to swear at me [what did you think was going to happen?] so I got a little angry. I pull my car in front of tow truck which had stoped and he pulled away and came to police station and so did I. I do not think he should have a license to drive!!" [that last sentence really had me taking this guy seriously. sic]
-"Approx time 12:45pmI was proceeding northbound on L______ Rd (P_____) signalling to make a right turn onto Kingston going east. I stopped at the stop sign (lights) then proeeded about 1 1/2 metres out and stopped again as there were oncoming vehicles from west to east in the lane I was turning into. It was in my 2nd stop that the other vehicle rear-ended me, shifting (moving forward) my car about 2 metres to the front and onto the right lane of the eastbound traffic on K____ Rd. The other driver came out aggressively swearing and firing punches at me. I asked him for his license and insurance information. He refused to give any information and drove hastily away. He showed up at this police station shortly after me and continued his raging and name-calling. He had to be spoken to by staff Sgt. C_____ to discontinue his behaviour." [in a story like this, who is telling the truth? Personally, I think they're both telling the truth about the other person but not about themselves.]

+[the driver's account of the auto shop incident] "I bought 4 new tires at A_____ [auto shop] at the P______ Centre on Thurs ____. Picked up the car at 8:00pm. I drove out of the mall on Glenanna exit and went north to K_____ road. Aprox 100 metres later the car dropped and started screeching. The back driver tire was gone and the bumper was crushed. A couple accross the street in the mall parking lot brough me my wheel and informed me the wheel had hit a van in the parking lot. We then saw a woman getting into the van and the couple ran back accross to inform her what happened. She drove up behind me took my information and left before I could take hers. She had a small dent in the door of the van. My wife in her car went to A____ told them what happened and the sent for a tow truck (C____ #73). He found a few of the lugnuts on the road, put the tire back on and towed it to A_____ in the P_____ Mall. In the morning R_____ had it picked up, towed to the collision reporting centre, then to R______ Auto Body."