Performing vs Serving

One of the first service projects I was ever involved with was St. Vincent's Soup Kitchen. We served lunch on Sundays to 150-200 homeless people in the downtown core. The food was often of better quality than what we could get in the academy cafe--and that isn't meant as a knock against the cafe. Still, I couldn't help but notice as I worked the slop buckets just how much food ended up back in the trash. It didn't grade well. You get what you pay for, I suppose--in this case, one dollar. Not sure what the dollar was for, considering all the food was donated: lighting, perhaps?

The first time I performed a solo in church was Grade 10. I played "Be Thou my Vision" on the flute. I was so nervous my knees were shaking violently and my body was very tensed up--quite the case of stage fright. But I hit all the right notes, and the shaking added a certain vibrato, a richness to the tone. From fear is born beauty? At potluck that sabbath, all the members commented on how well I played the flute--they had previously been unaware of that ability. It was a good performance.

Later, when I was a student missionary in Majuro, I ended up as one of the church pianists, playing every other week. It was often a challenge because we wouldn't find out what hymns we were playing until the man at the pulpit announced it while asking the church to rise. Sometimes, I'd mess around with the hymn, altering chords or creating accompaniments to change it up a little so they wouldn't have to hear the stale old hymn again. They're beautiful songs, but not three times in two days. The variations didn't always work out. They were actually kind of hit and miss. But they were certainly different.

After church, once every two weeks, we'd have an SM potluck. I brought Mom's secret fruit salad because it was a hit every time. It was a bit on the expensive side, but that was a small price to pay to grade well. Approval is priceless. Why else do students cross any boundary to cheat on a test?

I've held to my principles and failed on tests before. It's hard to look a teacher in the eye after you've failed. The feeling lasts until the next time you pass. There are some teachers I still have trouble looking in the eye.

What's the difference between performing and serving?

There was a time, a service day freshman year, when a bunch of us pulled weeds at the fire station. We tried to get them all, but if you've ever tried to clear a dry and dead Morning Glory from a chain link fence, you'll know perfection is a little out of reach. We took frequent breaks as the firefighters gave us the grand tour, other volunteers brought lemonade, and photographers took pictures--after all, the college president was with us.

If we were being paid, I think our performance would have graded poorly, and would have reflected badly on the company. But wouldn't we both have done the same job?

Is your life a performance or a service?