Mint-flavoured Bread

So I got up this morning, and was fumbling around for breakfast in the dark. I would normally make oatmeal in this situation, but I thought I needed to eat my loaf of bread before it turned bad, because it expired a week ago.

(In my defense, a month ago I had a loaf of bread that was two weeks expired, and it was still good. And last year on the island, the freshest eggs you could buy in the store were 1 month expired, you could find 3 months expired, and we only had one bad egg all year. So there.)

I slopped some peanut butter on a piece of bread, and began eating my sandwich, and noticed an odd mint flavour in the bread. I didn't remember flavouring the bread or the peanut butter, so I simply considered it a pleasant surprise.

But after I got a third of the way into the sandwich, I started thinking, "Hmmm... this doesn't quite taste like mint... I think it's something else, but I'm not sure what..." Curiosity stroked, I ate a few more bites, and then it hit me: "I know what the taste is: it's mold!"

I couldn't see any mold. Then I turned on the desk lamp, and saw small green spots on the crust, but not on the inner part of the loaf. That probably had something to do with the peanut butter spread over it. I briefly considered ripping the crust off and finishing the sandwich; but then tossed the whole thing. I then reached in the bag for another slice of bread, only to discover more green; so I tossed the whole thing. What a shame.

What lessons do I learn from this? Well, first of all, that mold tastes like mint. A good thing, really, because if I was a starving child in Africa, I could have eaten that sandwich.

Which brings me to the second part: mold really isn't that bad. I hear it's rather nourishing. Besides, I haven't suffered any ill effects yet.

And third, that Walmart sucks. You see, I purchased that loaf that went 2 weeks past without harm at Andy's market, an independently owned and managed supermarket. I purchased the moldy bread at Walmart. Therefore, Walmart sucks.

Life teaches us so much of value!


"You expected bread and you have got a stone: break your teeth on it, and don't shriek because the nerves are martyrised... the stone will digest... For the whole remnant of your life, if you survive the test--some, it is said, die under it--you will be stronger, wiser, less sensitve." (Charlotte Bronte, Shirley)